The sole purpose of sex does not need to be experiencing an orgasm, says ob-gyn Angela Jones, MD. Especially the first time you do it.
Sure, it’s great, and should be something both partners actively work toward as they become more familiar with their own needs, but take the pressure off. Think about sex as a way to connect with your partner on a deeper level, via all its emotional and mental benefits. “An individual’s worth is not tied to whether or not they climax during sex,” says Dr. Angela.
17. Should I fake an orgasm the first time I have sex?
I know pop culture has ingrained in us all the need to moan and writhe with pleasure at every single touch, but do yourself a favor down the line and don’t set the bar for this kind of acting. Psychotherapist Nicole Tammelleo says this is especially important the first time you have sex with a new partner. You don’t want to create any unrealistic standards, especially since many people with vaginas don’t have orgasms the first time they have sex with a new partner.
“If you fake an orgasm or tell your partner you had one when you didn’t, it’s harder to nudisticka seznamovacÃ aplikace communicate your needs in the future,” Tammelleo says. Plus, once you get into the habit of faking, it makes it that much harder to stop, take a step back, and be like, “Actually, what you’re doing doesn’t rock my world as much as you think, sorry.”
18. What should I talk about with my partner before having sex?
Talking about sex with a new partner is a must. “In order to have good sex, you need to communicate your wants, needs, and desires to your partner,” says SKYN’s sex and intimacy expert, Gigi Engle. This includes talking about what this sexual encounter will mean to you, if you are in a casual or serious relationship, if you and/or your partner are planning on being monogamous, and whether or not you are sleeping with other people.
And don’t worry, you don’t have to bring up this convo the moment you match with someone on Tinder, but you should bring it up before you take that trip to pound town, says Engle. Also, after having sex, it’s important to spend some time chatting, reconnecting, and reflecting on the experience.
19. How will I know what my partner likes during sex?
Whether it’s your first or fiftieth time having sex, the worst thing you can do is go into it with the assumption that you know everything about what your partner wants. No amount of slumber party gossip about blow jobs and giving massive hickeys can prepare you for what your partner is actually gonna be into.
The only way to find out is to ask them: Do they like oral sex, or would they rather leave that off the menu? Would they rather have the music on or off? Lights on or lights off?
Not only does asking questions show your partner that you care, but it e, making the whole experience better for everyone.
20. What if I regret having sex for the first time?
Not only should you temper your expectations going into it, but also keep in mind that when you’re looking back on the experience later, don’t beat yourself up about it. If you waited to have sex for the first time with a long-term partner only to break up in the future, don’t feel bad for sharing that experience with that person as long as you had consensual, enthusiastic fun in the moment.